life such as suck: February 2011

(tis picture is before she fall sickness n tis picture is taken five or ten or even fifteen day before she fall sickness)

according to the lunar calendar, tomorrow is my grandma one year anniversary.....
i still bear in mind tat today(last year) according the lunar calendar is my grandma slap n beat me for the last tym... i still remember before she slap or beat me, i had kiss her.... n tat was the reason y she slap or beat me.... it is still fresh in my mind tat i had carried my grandma to sleep alone... n tis is the first n the last time tat i never ever to have tis wonderful chance to carry her to sleep....

It is still bear in my mind tat tomorrow(last year)had japanese dancing practice den my cousin suddenly cum to skul n searching for me... she brought me back n the reason is grandma condition was not good... i almost want to cry but i bertahan to do it..... den i enter the car my another cousin told me tat not to cry once u reach home.... n it really reach home, n i raelly really cannot tahan n i cry n shout my grandma "ah ma".....n she open her eye to see me... my mum n dad go find doctor to come my hse... luckily got a doctor willing to come to my hse.... the doctor say "dia cuma badan panas dan deman sahaja". "Saya bagi dia suntikan untuk merendahkan suhu badannya". After all the injection, the doctor went back...

(tis picture is taken by my cousin sister)

At nite, my first aunt tell her if u wan say yes den press my aunt hand... so my aunt ask her r she waiting my uncle den she press my aunt hand.... At 10 o'clock, my uncle came back from brunei... it seem like my grandma was very happy to see my grandma... den at 11++ the adult say wan ask the chinese god whose is responsible bout the death people wan.... so my cousin n aunt go n ask.. when both of them back, we ask them wat he say den my aunt say tat the god say my grandma will leave us in tis week... he aso ask us to advise my grandma to go peacefully.. ask the person who she love the most... so my aunt uncle cousin advise her but i dun wan to do so... but my idiot cousin force me to advise her.... n i cry loudly.... den we all went to sleep accept my cousin bro.. he sleep at my grandma side... at 3o'clock my cousin awake n saw her looking around... den at 3.30 suddenly all of us in the hse awake n run outside... even me the person who sleep like pig aso can wake without ppl call me to wake up.... n i go out wit bler n blank mind.... den i told my cousin tat i wan go to sleep cause i wan go skul but once i wan sleep, i can't sleep... i crying n crying so loud until my cousin say y gt pig crying there???

(tis picture is my grandma funeral)

tis song had let me tink back all my wonderful time wit my grandma....
i still remember tat she very very sayang me wan... whenever my cousin all bully me, she will beat them... or other way to say is once i cry both of them will kena...
i aso remember tat every time she wan call me wake up she will say like tis" Li Fang wake up... once u wake then nothing edi".
i aso remember tat when i study at kindergarten den after i back she will bring me to neighbour hse she aso will prepare peanut butter bread.. den she will poker till evening...
tis song aso make me remember tat when i sleep i will hold her hand tightly... unfortunately now everytym i sleep i cannot hold her hand already... =((

AH MA I FEEL SO SORRY TAT I HAD CRUSH UR HEART TOO MUCH...
AH MA I ASO FEEL SOORY TAT I HAD NT TAKE CARE OF U PATIENTLY LIKE HOW U TAKE CARE OF ME SINCE I IN BABY...